STXWM Blog

Okay, I’m going to be honest here: I’m not exactly a hugger. In fact, I might even avoid a hug if I can. Touch isn’t exactly my thing—I’m just not one of those people who thrives on physical affection. But here’s the thing: even though I’m not a big fan of being hugged or touched, I still crave that feeling—comfort, connection, and a little bit of joy. And that’s where Phileo love comes in. It’s like the warm, fuzzy feeling of closeness and friendship without the physical embrace.

So, what exactly is Phileo love? It comes from the Greek word phílos, which means “loved,” “dear,” or—my personal favorite—friend. Phileo is the kind of love you share with your Bestie. It’s that deep affection you feel for someone, not because of some big sacrifice they made (that’s agape love, a whole different level), but because you like them. You just click. Whether it’s that inside joke that never gets old or how you laugh so hard together you can’t breathe—Phileo is all about friendship and fondness. It’s like the emotional bond built on trust, shared experiences, and a little bit of “Can you believe we survived that together?”

But here’s the kicker. Phileo doesn’t just stay in the realm of “Hey, you’re cool!”—it can also get a little… affectionate. Sometimes, it means a kiss or a tender gesture to show just how much you care. But don’t think of this as the kind of Hollywood kiss where people go running in slow motion towards each other. No, this is more like the kiss on the forehead when you see your favorite person after too long apart, or the way you might greet your bestie with a really loud “HEY GIRL!” followed by an affectionate gesture (okay, maybe it’s a little dramatic, but we all have that friend who makes you feel like a big deal, right?).

Now, let’s dive deeper. Phileo is like that feeling in your heart where your emotions are 100% involved. It’s not just an intellectual choice (that’s more like agape). It’s feelings. It’s why your heart swells when you see your friend after a long week or when your favorite person gets super excited about something they’ve achieved. This isn’t love born out of duty or obligation—it’s love rooted in how much you like and care about that person and how much they mean to you emotionally.

And now, if I’m being totally transparent (and possibly a little too transparent), when our team was discussing the month of February and talking about who would take which week, I volunteered to take Phileo love because I thought it would be an easy topic to cover. “Friends? I have friends, and I love them. I can absolutely write a post about that!” I thought. I figured it’d be straightforward, a simple dive into how friendship is important to God. I mean, how hard could it be?

And then… I actually started digging into the meaning of Phileo. I realized that I might’ve underestimated this whole “friendship” thing. It’s not just about liking someone; it’s about deep affection and how we nurture relationships that bring us joy, trust, and connection. It’s about showing up for your friends in meaningful ways—whether in big moments or small gestures. It’s about a love that feels as natural as breathing and as easy to take for granted as your favorite pair of sneakers.

But once you understand the depth of Phileo, you start to see how powerful this kind of love is. Jesus called His disciples friends (John 15:15). He wasn’t just their teacher or master; He truly cherished them. He was affectionate and real with them. Phileo love shows us what it means to have friendships that mirror the heart of God—a love that’s heartfelt, genuine, and not based on what we can do for each other but simply because we like each other. And, honestly, sometimes that’s enough.

What I find beautiful about Phileo is that it shows us a picture of community and connection. In a world that can often feel distant or impersonal, Phileo reminds us of the joy and strength that comes from just being a friend to someone. It’s not about how much you can give or how much you can sacrifice, but how much you can show up and love each other in the little ways—laughing together, supporting each other, and even sharing a sincere “Hey, I’ve got your back” without needing anything in return.

In the end, Phileo love is the heartbeat of true friendship. It’s that deep affection that makes your friendships stand out as something special. So, let’s be friends in the truest sense. Let’s love each other with Phileo—no strings attached, just good vibes, lots of laughs, and maybe even a few hugs for good measure.

Loving people with Phileo love takes audacious faith—and I mean the kind of faith that dares you to open up and trust people with your heart. It’s easy to love from a distance or keep things surface-level, especially when we fear getting hurt or disappointed. But Phileo pushes you to take that leap of faith, be vulnerable, and love others deeply, even when you don’t know how they’ll respond. It’s a love that requires you to step out of your comfort zone and invest in friendships without expecting anything in return—just like Jesus did when He called His disciples friends. It’s messy, it’s risky, but that’s what makes it beautiful. And that’s why it takes audacious faith—to believe that loving deeply will not only change others but also shape you into the person God created you to be.