“Where is he going?” I asked myself as I watched my father hike up a mountain in the middle of the Arizona desert. Rest assured, this was a normal vacation occurrence for the Young Family. However, he took the car keys with him and left us in the car with no air conditioning. What were we to do but wonder for hours if we’d ever see him again? I always enjoyed road tripping with my parents as a child, but this was not fun. After what seemed like forever my father returned hobbling down the mountain. It seems that he had made a spill into a cactus patch and had spines in his leg. Ouch! I remember my mom helping him remove them over the dinner table at a restaurant that served little plastic pink and blue swords instead of toothpicks. I may still have them somewhere. The things you remember as a kid.
Can I just say that my mom was not happy with this situation. She did not like sitting in the car for hours with no air conditioning. I don’t blame her. I was there too, and it was very hot in the desert. Not to mention this was before cell phones, and we had no idea if my dad was going to make it back. However, when my mom and I look back on this part of our vacation, we can’t help but laugh about it. She has since forgiven my father, and they continue to travel together.
Family vacations can either bring out the best in you or the worst. Which we all know that “When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” and “Happy wife, happy life.”
This could not be truer. When a mother or wife is feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or unhappy, it can be difficult for her to fulfill her role as a caregiver. This can lead to disconnecting with her children and other family members, potentially impacting their emotional well-being. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m guilty of creating storm clouds of bad attitude.
1 Corinthians 13:13- “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
Last month, my blog sisters and I shared about our struggles with learning to navigate through mental health. As important as our mental health is, our attitude is also important. How can we be our best for our families with a sour attitude? Answer: we can’t! That’s where we need faith, hope and love.
When you’re on a road trip, it’s important to determine how many miles it’ll take you to get from Point A to Point B on one tank of gas. When you start to notice the fuel gauge getting close to the E, it’s time to fill up.
When was the last time you checked your faith gauge? Is it getting close to empty, or are you running on fumes? Faith is the complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Through my relationship with God, he brings me connection with my family. Our faith is what keeps us (my family) going, and without it we can’t function anymore.
As a wife and mother, I can start to tell when my faith gauge is getting low. I begin to feel weary and stressed as I get short with my family members. There’s been times where I’ve had to put myself in a time out and pray for God’s strength. Then after a good cry, I’m able to compose myself and start again. But that’s why it’s crucial to give yourself grace and look for the nearest gas station, err I mean Bible, as soon as possible.
Along with our faith gauge comes hope. “I hope we can get to the hotel before dark. I hope this restroom is clean. I hope my daughter takes a nap in the car.” We all have our “hope statements.” But what about, “I hope my husband knows how safe he makes me feel,” “I hope God can bring healing to mine and my sister’s relationship,” or “I hope I can be a good example for my daughter.” Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. These are real hopes from a real person who is not always her best for her family. I have my struggles, and I have my desires. God is the only one who can make my hopes a reality because I trust in his promises.
Psalm 33:20-22
20 We wait in hope for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
even as we put our hope in you.
I look back on the past six years, and I can see how much I’ve been stretched since I became a mother. As I’ve written before, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for my kid, but I also recognize not being my best-self for her. She needs my love every day, just as God shows me love every day; even when I mess up, he’s still there.
1 John 4:10-11- “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
We just took a family vacation last month. It was all four grandparents, our daughter, my husband and myself. During these ten fun-filled days we celebrated three different events: my husband’s master’s degree, Mother’s Day, and our 13th wedding anniversary. All of which were wonderful days filled with faith, hope and love. My husband’s graduation was filled with faith, because God gave him the strength to keep with his studies even when life got hard. Mother’s Day was filled with delicious donuts and overwhelming love for the women who loved us first. Lastly, we celebrated our anniversary filled with hope of a bright future together.
Each of these moments were little reminders that God is good, that I shouldn’t take my family for granted, and they deserve my best. This doesn’t mean perfect. Your family is not looking for you to be perfect, just present.
This summer instead of settling for stressed out, burned out, and grumpy moments, ask God to help you see the beauty in your family time because your family deserves your best.
Melinda Brown is a mother, co-pastor, entrepreneur, and now she can add author to her ever growing list of gifts. She and her husband, Jason, pastor Columbus Community Church in South East Texas and now, Melinda has agreed to come on board as one of our newest authors on the STXWM Blog Team. Her heart is to share the love of Jesus through her writing and to tell the world of the healing and comfort that can be found in a relationship with the Lord.
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