STXWM Blog

Let’s be honest: most of us did not grow up in a house that looked like a Hallmark Christmas movie. (Although, I do have a good friend whose hometown could LITERALLY be the scene of one.)

My husband and I both came from less-than-picture-perfect homes, think more dramatic reality TV than picturesque TV sitcoms. But if there is one thing we have learned and are forever thankful for, it is that God has a beautiful way of providing the family you need, even if it is not the one you were born into.

For us, that family came through our church.

I could go on for days (not joking) about how some of my best friends have become family to me. These are women and men who know my coffee order, have seen my ugly cry, and do not bat an eye when I show up with a brand-new hair color (which is less often now that I’ve shaved my head, but that’s an entirely different blog). They are aunts and uncles to my son, the kind who always ask him about his latest hyper fixation and actually want to hear all the details, and who show up ready with hugs or silly jokes whenever they are needed. Honestly, sometimes I think he prefers them to me.

Coming from backgrounds as children of divorce, single parenthood, and living with family friends, my husband and I didn’t have a shining example of what a family should look like in real life. When there have been issues (and there have been issues) my husband and I have had to learn how to be spouses, how to stay together, and how to parent the children we’ve raised on the fly. So much of that has been shaped by watching the examples of godly marriages and families in our church. These husbands and wives show us daily that marriage is not about perfection, but about grace upon grace and a whole lot of laughter along the way.

When we need advice or have questions, whether it is about parenting, marriage, or the messiness of life, we know we can call or text our church family, and they will be there. They have celebrated with us, prayed over us, cried with us, and supported us in ways that words can hardly capture. God has given us more through our church family than we could ever imagine.

If you grew up in a family that looked more like an episode of COPS than an after-school special, hear me loud and clear: there is nothing wrong or defective about you. You are not missing some crucial chip. God is big enough to be your mother, father, sister, and brother.  WHATEVER you need.  But He also delights in giving us people who can embody those roles in our lives; a healthy church family that becomes the village you never knew you needed.

As Hebrews 10:25 reminds us, “Let us not forsake the assembling of ourselves together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” God knows we need one another, and He calls us to come together, lift each other up, and walk through this life side by side.

So if you are out there feeling alone or wishing for that sense of connection you have only seen on TV, do not give up. Look for a church that feels like home, not because it is perfect, because newsflash, it will not be, but because the people love Jesus and are willing to love you too.

Because sometimes, the best families are the ones God builds from scratch.

It takes audacious faith to step into a church family. It is vulnerable and scary to open your heart, to risk being seen for who you truly are, and to trust people you do not know yet. It takes bravery to walk into a room full of strangers, to try a small group, or to share your story when your voice is shaking. But that kind of faith, the courage to show up even when you are unsure, is exactly where God does His best work. On the other side of that leap is a love and belonging that will change your life forever. When you take the risk to connect, you will find people who will pray for you, cheer you on, challenge you to grow, and remind you that you are never alone. In the process, you will discover the beautiful truth that the family God gives you can be even more powerful than the one you came from.

Tracie Tevault is a recent addition to the STXWM blog team. Married for 15 years to her best friend, Tracie is raising one awesome son and three spoiled cats. With a heart for ministry, Tracie has served in many areas, but her true passion lies in reaching those who might not fit the traditional church mold. She’s all about showing people they are loved, valued, and created with a purpose.