STXWM Blog

Living in SE Asia for ten years has changed me. I came overseas in typical fast-paced American style.  I was used to an agenda, an itinerary, a schedule, a checklist, a drive-thru and express lane kind of life. Here I’m living the polar opposite of that seemingly distant memory of my American life. Asia has made me come to a screeching halt and radically adjust to a new kind of normal. A slower kind of normal. A better kind of normal.

I like to think of it as a beautiful slow dance.

When you slow dance with someone you love, you forget about what’s going on around you. You look into their eyes and you lean into rhythm together. Your movements are slow and meaningful and gentle. You come into a new awareness of your partner as you savor their company and their attention. This is life in my little mountain town.

Life here has taught me the value of rest > rush and how to prioritize people over productivity. When you lean into others through meaningful conversation and exchange, days become fuller and sweeter, like looking my sweet produce ladies in the eyes as I ask them how they are and we slow down to make time for gentle words. Or when my neighbor stops at the fence to offer to let my children play with her baby chicks, and even though I have chores to be doing I slow down to make time to smile and laugh and invest in community.

A hurried life is not an intentional life.

Nothing here moves quickly. Traffic is slow and steady. Ordering a meal at a restaurant is an evening affair. Shop owners and store workers stop their work to chat with the customers. Everyone takes a nap after lunch. People show up when they feel like it, which is not necessarily always when they say they will. There is no “fast”, “express”, “quick” or “instant” anything here.

But there is beauty in the slowness.

The hurriedness we feel in America is rooted in a sense of needing to perform. We haven’t learned to embrace our limits; we forget to rest in God’s deep love for us that isn’t based on what we do, but who we are. We don’t have time to truly connect with people because we’re trying to rush off to the next thing. But people here in my SE Asian home are not focused on productivity- they are focused on relationship. They understand what we westerners have sadly forgotten: true joy is not found in completing tasks, but in knowing and being known. They create open-ended time and space for people over everything else. And isn’t that how it should be?  After all, the first characteristic of love listed in 1 Cor. 13 is patient.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matt. 11:28-30 MSG

You may be thinking, Well, that’s nice for you, but I don’t live in SE Asia. And while it is easier to embrace rest > rush when a whole society lives that way, as followers of Jesus we are called to live in His Kingdom culture, even when it is opposite of our surrounding culture. Jesus invites us to rest in Him. To find our life and peace and joy in Him. To operate out of an unshakeable sense of belovedness in Him that isn’t based on our accomplishments or productivity, but simply being His child.

We can find true rest when we remember that Jesus only asked us to do two things: love God, and love others.

So, I invite you to this slow dance- to the delight of stopping the mad rush and slowing down to really enjoy God and those He’s given you to love. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

It takes audacious faith to go against the flow and choose rest > rush. It’s going to require thought and intentionality to get out of the fast lane and join the slow dance. Before you decide that it’s impossible, I want to encourage you to try these three steps to bring you to a more rested, intentional life:

1. Practice sabbath. Choose one day each week where you don’t do any work, but simply delight in Jesus and those He’s given you to love. This will take planning and preparation, but it is such a rich practice that brings true rest and is the catalyst for going into the rest of our week rested. If you can’t do a whole day right away, try a whole morning or a whole evening.
2. Embrace interruptions. Jesus was CONSTANTLY interrupted, but never seemed irritated or rushed past those who interrupted Him. Look at your interruptions as opportunities to be present and ask God to show you what He is doing in that moment.
3. Start your day with 5-10 minutes of silence. Sometimes the rush starts in our brains and as soon as our feet hit the floor in the morning, we are thinking of one million things we need to do. Starting the day with silence slows down our minds, bodies, and hearts and helps attune us to what the Holy Spirit might want to say to us.