Encourage, Equip, Empower

Each month our very own amazing writers from South Texas publish a series of blog posts written with you in mind. Our desire is to encourage, equip, and empower you through stories, experiences, and insights from our writers and from God’s Word.

  • Joy Beyond Understanding

    “ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 Summertime in the South is not for the faint of heart. Temperatures that soar to unbearable heights, iced tea that can’t seem to stay iced, and leather car interior that is torture whenever you get in…


  • Peace in a Wild Workplace

     I do not work in a church.  I am involved in ministry full-time, but I also work a secular job to provide for my family.  I don’t care where you work, whether it be in a church or out; if you work with people, it can be difficult.   Feeling called to ministry, I have asked…


  • Peace In the Wild

    When I think about the phrase “peace in the wild,” I picture a leopardess in the middle of a jungle. I imagine the sound of monkeys hooting in the background while she cleans her paws. She’s laying down, feeling peaceful, she’s not worried about where her next meal will come from. She’s not anxious about…


  • Go Ahead and Cry, Girl

    “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8

    Water Drop” by Pawe%u0142%20Chrz%u0105szczewski/ CC0 1.0

    If you go back and read this whole chapter, it is referring to a time when people were out to get David.  There are some other amazing, encouraging verses in this chapter as well about remembering God’s faithfulness and declarations about trusting in God no matter what.  I encourage you to go back and read it when you have time.

    I cannot relate fully to the beginning verses.  I personally have never had people pursuing me with the intent to kill me. (Thank you, Lord.)  But, I think we have all experienced a time when someone was talking about us who did not have our best interest, or even the truth, in mind.  Furthermore, I can say with absolute certainty that I have experienced hardships at times that felt unfair.  I have been in a place before where I found myself saying “I don’t deserve this.  I did what was right.”

    For about two years now I have begun to feel that my life was starting to go backwards.  I am not saying that nothing good has happened at all or that I have not seen God’s hand moving on my behalf during that time but things have just been hard.  I am living now in one of those times when there have been a lot more tears than I am used to crying.

    I am not in a season of life that I am loving on a daily basis.  I am divorced and I have 3 children with my ex-husband.  For 14 years I saw all of my kids most days with the exception of short visits with their dad after the divorce.  About 2 years ago, my kids started expressing an interest in seeing what it would be like to live at their dad’s house.  This is absolutely natural and something I had been asking God to prepare me for for years.  I knew a day would come when they would want to try living with him and an age would come when the custody agreement would allow them to.  I was not angry with them for their choice or for the love they have for their dad.  I taught them to love him.  But my heart was broken to know that I would not see them everyday anymore.  During the last two years they have all gone to live with dad for different periods of time.  My daughter tried it for one semester of school and decided to come home but my sons have both stayed.  

    Through this experience, I am learning a new way to parent.  I am learning a lot about God and how He loves my babies.  I am also praying more and differently for my ex-husband than I ever have before.  And in this process there have been so many tears.  As I have grown closer to God through this I have learned something new about Him.  My tears are precious to Him.  

    He does not think I am too emotional or overreacting.  Others may hear this story and say that this is not a hardship.  It’s just part of life after divorce and that I shouldn’t feel the way I do about it.  But what I have found as I have read through the Bible is that God does not shy away from tears and sorrow.   He sits with us in our sorrow and He treasures our tears.  

    The tears mean that you are allowing yourself to feel and share those feelings.  Share them with God.  He wants to hear from you.  He is not afraid when you are mad or confused.  He is not worried about your questions.  Bring it all to Him, tears and all, because I have learned another thing too.  The tears are cleansing.  The burden will be lighter and the heartbreak a little easier to bear after we bring it all to Jesus and have a good cry with Him.  So go ahead and cry, girl.  Then get up and keep going.  I don’t know how long your season has lasted or much longer you have to go but I do know that you have a God who wants to be with you through it all; through the questions, the anger, the heartbreak, the tears and one day, in the joy.


  • See You At the Top

    “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways higher than my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts that your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

    “God, I do not understand what You’re doing here.”

    We have all said those words before.  Whether we have actually uttered them allowed or just thought them; either way, we have all been in a place where the circumstances around us did not seem like God would have chosen it for a child that He loves.

    Maybe you have continued with a sentiment such as, “Did I do something wrong?” or “I didn’t do anything wrong.”  There are certainly times when our circumstances are the direct result of our own decisions but other times it really does feel like no matter how we try to effect it to the contrary, our world just seems to be spiraling out of control.

    It is tempting in these times to wonder if God is actually in control.  It’s tempting to ask Him if He’s watching events unfold-to wonder if we’ve been forgotten.  As mature Christians, we know better but the enemy still likes to taunt us with the thought.  For just a moment, or maybe longer, we feel unimportant and unseen by God.

    There is a song by the Collinsworth Family called Your Ways Are Higher Than Mine.  I will link it below.  In the chorus one line says “I want mountains to move but You want me to climb.”  When I am focusing on my circumstances I often think that this cannot be what God wants for my life but then I read this verse and I remember that He is not only walking beside me but He is also looking down from above.  Allow me to explain.  

    My perspective is on eye level with the difficulty so for me, it’s hard to see much else.  God can see so much more than I can.  He can see how what I am walking through is affecting those around me as well as the effect it will have on my own life over time.  He sees the growth and the faith that this time is building in me.  Even as I write that, it’s really not very comforting for what I’m dealing with right now but it’s true nonetheless.

    Another thing that God showed me about this time came from a nature documentary.  LOL He can use anything, I guess.  I’ve been teaching my students about the life cycle recently so I decided to do some further research to prepare myself for the inevitable deeper questions that I always get from my 4th graders.  The documentary pointed out that all of life on earth is in a constant life cycle.  The sunflower in my students’ notes starts as a seed that must die and break down in order to germinate which then grows into a plant that must eventually die in order to give seeds back to the ground and fertilize the soil so it can start all over again.  The seasons are a cycle of death leading back to life.

    Our lives follow this same divine pattern that God gave the flowers and the seasons.  Seasons in our lives must end in order for us to grow.  We have to lose things sometimes in order to make room for more and new blessings.  This time, that hurts so much right now, is the fertilizer that will nourish next year’s blessings.

    Could God have chosen to do things differently?  I don’t know.  Maybe He could.  Maybe this was the only way it would work.  What really matters is that we know that He is not only in control and attentive to us, but He is also capable and trustworthy.  He sees us.  He loves us and we can trust Him to do what is best for us.

    The climb over your mountain is difficult and often heartbreaking but God knows what He’s doing and He is climbing right by your side.  Don’t stop, my friend, and I won’t either.  See you at the top, girl.

    Father, I will not stop. I will keep climbing knowing that You are with me but help me when I want to. When the difficulty and hurt in this season threaten to be heavier than I can carry. Help me to take one more step each time for You are faithful and You see me.


  • Fashioned for Dependence: Confessing Our Need

    “If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place.” -Exodus 33:15

    We had recently returned to the states after two years overseas that had challenged and depleted me. I was standing at the campground altar in Kerrville, Texas at the end of the Leading Ladies retreat in 2018. I was weary. I knew in my heart the Father was calling us to go back to the foreign field to continue reaching the unreached, but I just didn’t know if I had it in me. I don’t remember what the speaker said that service, but I do remember the battle raging in my heart between what I felt God was asking of me and what I felt I could actually do. Should we walk away? Did we make a mistake in committing to return to the remote mountains of Southeast Asia? But if we didn’t go, what else would we do? The thought of not answering the Lord’s calling was even scarier than the high cost of following Him. And so, I prayed a prayer very similar to the one Moses prayed in Exodus 33:

    “God, You are all I have. You HAVE to go with me. I don’t have anything else but You.”

    The verse right before Moses pleaded with the Lord to go with them into the unknown toward the Promised Land, God had already spoken to the fear in Moses’s heart and had promised to go with him. 

    “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest— everything will be fine for you.” (Ex. 33:14)

    Even with this promise fresh from the mouth of God, Moses confessed his concerns and his utter dependence on God:

    “Then Moses said, ‘If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place. How will anyone know that you look favorably on me— on me and on your people— if you don’t go with us? For your presence among us sets your people and me apart from all other people on the earth.’” (Ex. 33:15-16)

    I don’t hear doubt in Moses’s confession here. God had promised to go with them already. Moses knew that. What I hear is a man who had impossible odds stacked against him, an unruly and disobedient people to lead, and an understanding that he would fail miserably if God’s presence was not with him every step of the journey.

    Confessing our dependence on God is a very vulnerable thing. We have to come face to face with our own inadequacies and faults as we recognize that God’s calling isn’t about our ability, but our surrender. As I read Moses’s confession in this passage, I feel the same emotions that I was wrestling with on that January day in Kerrville. Desperation. Fear. Intimidation. Insecurity. Conviction. 

    If You don’t personally go with me, don’t make me leave this place.

    The good news is, God isn’t bothered by confessions like these. He desires them. He expects them. He draws near to us in them. He is looking for people who will not move without His presence because they recognize that they are not enough, but He is. Look at how God responds to Moses’s plea:

    “The Lord replied to Moses, ‘I will indeed do what you have asked, for I look favorably on you, and I know you by name.” (Ex. 33:17)

    He knows us, friends. He’s not surprised or bothered by our flaws and shortcomings. He knows about those (better than we do) when He calls us. Our confession of dependence on God releases His glorious presence into our lives— His presence that goes before us and with us into the places He calls us, that equips and strengthens us to do that which we cannot do alone. 

    Our confession of dependence on God releases His glorious presence into our lives— His presence that goes before us and with us into the places He calls us, that equips and strengthens us to do that which we cannot do alone. 

    Heather F.

    After God promises Moses that He will do what Moses has asked of Him, Moses asks God to show him His presence. God replies by telling Moses to stand near the rock so that He can cover Moses with His hand in the cleft of it as His presence passes by. Moses’s confession of dependence is rewarded by seeing God in a way no one else had experienced or has experienced since. His confession led to a life-changing encounter with the Living God.

    In our culture, dependence is seen as weakness. In Kingdom culture, dependence on God is seen as a strength. After all, His power works best in weakness, and when we are weak, He is strong in us. (2 Cor. 9-10) We do not have to feel strong or capable to say “yes” to what God asks of us. We can join with Moses and confess our desperate need for God’s presence with us if we are to go where He’s calling us to go. 

    If you are feeling weak today, if the things God is calling you to do feel impossible or overwhelming, turn your fears into a prayer of confession. Be honest with God about your doubts. Tell Him how you need Him to come through for you. Embrace your dependency and acknowledge your lack.

    And you can be confident that your confession will be met with His glorious presence— a presence that changes everything. A presence that changes us.


  • Fashioned for Dependence: Losing Myself

    Home.

    Security.

    Familiarity.

    Proximity to family and friends.

    Comfort.

    Those things I knew I would lose when we made the decision to move overseas. One thing I didn’t expect to lose?

    My identity

    It’s my own fault. Growing up in our productivity-driven western culture, for most of my life my identity had been seamlessly woven into what I could do.  Talents. Abilities. Gifts. Strengths. Those are things we like to take online tests to determine and then examine, evaluate, and celebrate. We put what we can do on a pedestal and we champion other people doing great things (especially if they can take pretty pictures of themselves doing them) and quietly question those who we assess aren’t doing much. We invest in calendars and planners and life coaches and dream journals and we post our productivity on social media for all to see. Our outward persona and measurable accomplishments become indistinguishably linked to who we think we are at the core: our identity.

    So what happens when an American girl that thrives on productivity moves to the other side of the globe where she can’t fully communicate, doesn’t understand all the aspects of the culture, isn’t sure how things are done or life is lived because it is all upside down and backwards to her upbringing?

    She loses herself.

    And there, in the sea of culture shock and grief and struggle to find her footing, she doesn’t even recognize who she is anymore, because who is she if she’s not what she can do? Is her value lessened when her hands are empty? And if she can’t do what she’s always done, if her identity was lost somewhere in transit over the Pacific Ocean, must she live in this identity-less state forever wondering who she is?  

    Or could it be that in losing herself, she actually finds a truer version of who she was made to be?

    I didn’t know when my feet left American soil to plant themselves on the dusty village streets of SE Asia that I was leaving behind the only me I had ever known.  The task-oriented, go-getter, big-dreamer, tell-me-what-to-do-and-I’ll-get-it-done girl I’d always been got left at the Starbucks counter in terminal E of the Houston airport. I didn’t know I was exchanging my experience in teaching and business and ministry for a re-birth; a stripping-down of myself and a becoming-new like a baby in an unfamiliar world who needs people to feed her and take her places and tell her what to do and how to do it, but that’s what happened. All of a sudden, my capable became incompetent. My knowledge became foolishness. My achievements became meaningless. And so, I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered, if I am not all these things, who am I?  

    Isn’t there a dying necessary to bring new life? Isn’t the grief over the loss of who we thought we were really a celebration of the birth of who we were truly meant to be?  And if we’ve never stood at the funeral of our own “self” can we say we’re really living the abundant life Christ came to give?

    I realized that for much of my life, I had looked at dependency as a weakness. What I actually found is that dependency on Christ is freedom: freedom from striving, from achieving, from doing, from fashioning our own sense of worth from the work of our hands and finding it in Christ alone.

    Dependency on Christ is freedom: freedom from striving, from achieving, from doing, from fashioning our own sense of worth from the work of our hands and finding it in Christ alone.

    When I finally dried my tears at the graveside of my old identity and came face to face with who I was meant to be all along, it took my breath away:

    I am small.

    I am loved.

    I am chosen.

    I am needy.

    I am valued.

    I am humble.

    I am seen.

    I am flawed.

    I am growing.

    I am weak.

    I am strong.

    I am His.

    Odds are, you will not be moving to the other side of the world and having a cross-cultural identity crisis like I did. But I have a suspicion that you have experienced your own moments of feeling like you’re falling short, like the things you thought you could accomplish that gave a sense of purpose and meaning to your life are just out of reach. We all have times of questioning who we are, why we’re here, if we matter. And I believe the Lord allows us to wrestle with these things because ultimately, we have to realize that the identity we so crave that the world tells us is found when we take control of our life is actually realized when we release control and recognize our dependency on Christ.

    Oh, this new identity doesn’t come easy. We have to fight for it. As a baby fights to leave the safety of her mother’s womb, as a butterfly fights to escape the cocoon, I had to fight and struggle and push my way past the confines of who I had been told I was and believed I was. And in this new identity I have found, in the losing of who I thought I was and the re-birth into the truth of who I am, I have realized that until you lose your life, you can’t really be living it. We find our true life when we release control and embrace dependency on Christ.

    “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25

    We find our true life when we release control and embrace dependency on Christ.

    I expected a lot of things when we said yes to life overseas. I expected the struggle of culture shock and change. I expected homesickness and grief. I didn’t expect that I would find a whole new identity that isn’t based on what I can do but based on the freedom that comes with dependency on Christ. And you know what? Doing less and just being in this new identity? It’s more fulfilling than my most productive day in my former life. The striving has been replaced with surrender, the running with rest.

    I may not have known when I surrendered to this life that I was giving up my identity with it, but standing on the other side now, I’m glad that the old me stayed behind in America with all her tasks and achievements and productivity so I could find myself here, in the unexpected, holy space called 

    NEW.

    “Therefore if anyone is in the Son, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17


  • Fashioned for Motherhood: Growing Up Also

    “the name of Amram’s wife was Jochebed, a descendent of Levi, who was born to the Levites in Egypt. To Amram she bore Aaron, Moses and their sister Miriam.” (Numbers 26:59)

    We’ve spent the last four weeks immersed in the brief account of Jochebed, Moses’ mother. Most of us assume her scriptural contribution concludes in Exodus 2 after she weaned her boy and returned him to the Egyptian princess.

    Unless of course, you catch a couple obscure references in Numbers. This one, in particular, has a few deterrents. First of all, it’s in Numbers; the book where most Bible reading plans expire. Secondly, it’s buried in a second census. (Snooze!) And thirdly, Jochebed isn’t a recognizable name. Exodus 2 hadn’t provided Moses’ parents with proper nouns. They were unnamed until the lineage listed in chapter 6. Of course, Aaron, Miriam and Moses could only be the famous trio who championed the emigration of God’s people from Egypt.

    I tripped over this scripture last summer on my tenth or so time through Numbers. Moses’ mother was listed in the census of the replacement generation that crossed into Canaan. She is one of very few people to experience both the exodus of Egypt and the entrance into the Promised Land. It’s kind of mind-blowing!

    Let me back up a moment. The book of Numbers is named for the two censuses that dominate it’s pages. It’s content covers the time period between borders. The Israelites had successfully navigated the wilderness once, they had stood at the edge of the Promised Land within a year of leaving Egypt. In fact, they sent spies to scout the nation. Ten of the twelve spies returned with a bad report. Overnight, the Israelites believed the words of men over the promises of God and their consequence was an extended return to the wilderness. God vowed that every last disbeliever would die in the desert, but their children would return and one day possess the very land they had rejected.

    Forty years of wandering followed. The former slaves of Egypt got an education on how to live as people of God: meal by meal, day by day, turn by turn. And His word came to pass. The unbelievers expired by various means along the way. Even Moses paid the price for his disbelief at Meribah, he died on the last mountain overlooking Canaan. 

    It is widely preached that only Caleb and Joshua; the two spies who gave an accurate and God-honoring report on Canaan remained. This second census toward the end of Numbers is a list of people crossing over into the Promised Land. Joshua and Caleb are included, but remarkably, so is Jochebed. 

    Let’s pause to consider the losses Jochebed had endured at this point: full decades emptied of Moses, widowed by Amram, the premature passage of all three adult children in the wasteland between Egypt and Canaan, even the apostasy and destruction of two grandsons, too. Jochebed had endured far more than her fair share of misery, and yet, there she is in the end Numbers, persevering in her love of God and pursuit of His promises to her. Despite her pain, she pressed on to embrace the life He was leading her toward. Jochebed lived well enough and long enough to set foot in the dreams of her children. She embraced a new adventure even in her twilight years. What an inspiration!

    Honestly, we trend the other direction. Nests empty. Kids grow up and out. Mom stagnates. We get stuck in our grief, in our sudden absence of identity and purpose. Sometimes even in our hairstyle. (We all know ladies still sporting their 90’s best, right?) Our children move and and it’s tempting to remain unchanged.

    Having emptied my nest, I have compassion, even understanding. It is devastating to move from being essential to being an after thought. Even moreso if our child has given themselves over to a life we can’t be included in. Moses went to Midian. Our child may go to the military, missions, or any manner of things that limit their connection to Mom and Dad. What we do in these moments of rearrangement matters. A lot.

    Jochebed could have gotten stuck. And honestly, she may have for a few months or years. But at some point she decided to take God at His word again and follow Him wholeheartedly, no matter what was happening with her kids. We know this because by the time Moses returned as a mighty man of God emancipating his people, his mother is more than willing to follow suit. In her son’s prolonged absent, her faith managed to flourish.

    By my math, Jochebed would have been eighty or so when she participated in the Passover and pulled up stakes in Egypt. Consider the faith required to leave the only home you’ve ever known as an octogenarian! And yet she did. She followed her son, and far more impressively, her God, out into the wilderness. His promises to her were more real than anything she was leaving behind.

    Momma; our kids are going to grow up and leave. It’s the natural course of things. They may leave and make great choices. They may leave and make lousy ones. Either way, we’ve got to decide how we are going to invest the time we’ve got left. Will we get stuck or will we grow? 

    Both of my children were out of the nest before I turned 42. I treasured our twenty years together and when it was over, I had to decide what to do with my second half of life. I’ve elected to view this empty nest season as a gift. I’m determined to make it my empty best. While I have moments of longing for days gone by, the Lord continues to convince me; there is still adventure ahead, even in the route is marked with hardship and loss. 

    The reality is, we are all still making our way toward the Promised Land. Jochebed reminds us, we can’t afford to get stuck. Our kids are going to grow up and out of our house, but we can grow, too.

    “May the Lord cause you to flourish, both you and your children.” (Psalm 116:14 NIV)

    Lord, if we are honest, we grieve our empty nest. Help us not to get stuck there. Lift our heads, help us understand that You aren’t done growing us up, also. May we continue to pursue You in prayer, worship, study and presence. Keep us on our toes as we follow You into the next adventure. Amen.


About STX Women

We are the Women’s Ministries branch of the South Texas Assemblies of God.

Women across South Texas desire a community where we celebrate each other and share each other’s burdens.

Together, we walk out our God-given purpose in our family, church, and community!

Our passion and love for Christ unite us to reach the lost at home and across the world. 

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