STXWM Blog

Growing up, I had this image of what the “perfect” Christian woman looked like. Picture it: perfectly teased roller sets (no frizz in sight), dress suits that were perfectly pressed ALWAYS with nylons, and, to top it off, a spirit sweeter than honey and a home that practically sparkled with every step you took. And, of course, she never got angry with her children—ever. Her kids “rose and called her blessed” every morning while she humbly basked in the glory of her perfectly serene life.

Well, spoiler alert: I am not that woman.

I’m loud, I’m opinionated, I’m bold (sometimes to a fault), and my house? Let’s just say it looks like a small hurricane may have passed through. The idea of being the “perfect” woman with a calm, sweet spirit and a Pinterest-worthy home always felt more like trying to fit into a box that was too small—cramped and stifling, with no room to breathe. It was uncomfortable and just didn’t fit.

But now, I’m pretty sure God didn’t call me to be a cookie-cutter version of that “perfect” woman. In fact, He created each of us uniquely—and that’s not only okay, it’s beautiful.

A friend of mine—also a little less than perfect (thank God for that!)—sent me a video that really made me think. It showed the two types of women in women’s ministry: the Proverbs 31 woman and the Judges 4 woman. Most of us have heard of the Proverbs 31 woman; there are entire ministries dedicated to her, songs in which men express that she’s the kind of woman they’re looking for, so I won’t touch too much on her; instead, let’s look at the lovely ladies from Judges 4.

Meet Deborah

Deborah was a judge in Israel, and not in a quiet, passive way. No, she was bold, courageous, and ready to lead her people into battle. In Judges 4, Barak, the leader of the army, says, “Deborah, I need you to come with me to battle.” And she responds, “Oh, sure, I’ll come with you, but just so you know—this victory? It’s going to be a woman’s win, not yours.” (I can practically hear the sass in her voice right? Like, “Nice try, Barak!”)

And spoiler alert: Deborah’s prediction came true. God gave victory to Israel—but not through Barak. Instead, it was a woman who got the honor of delivering the final blow to the enemy.

Meet Jael

But hold up, Deborah wasn’t the only woman in Judges 4 making waves. Let’s talk about Jael, because she is next level. While Deborah was leading armies, Jael was—well, let’s just say she wasn’t exactly being quiet. Jael finished off the enemy commander, Sisera, by driving a tent spike through his temple.

Yes, you read that right: a tent spike through the temple. Talk about “I’ve got this” energy. It’s not exactly the kind of thing you’d put on a Christian T-shirt, but it’s definitely powerful.

What ties these women together is their boldness, strength, and refusal to conform to society’s idea of what a woman should be. God didn’t ask Deborah or Jael to fit the mold of the perfect, quiet, mild-mannered woman. No, He called them to be exactly who He created them to be. And that’s a lesson we all need to learn.

There Is No “Typical” Christian Woman

This brings me back to me—and maybe to you, too. There’s no such thing as a “typical” Christian woman. God made us all different, and He delights in those differences. Whether you’re an opinionated, bold, loud-mouthed woman like me or a gentler-spirited woman who is the epitome of grace, wisdom, and strength, managing her home and life with quiet excellence and unwavering devotion like some of my friends, you are exactly who God created you to be. There’s no one-size-fits-all here, and that’s the beauty of the body of Christ.

We aren’t called to blend in with some Instagram version of perfection. We’re called to embrace our God-given identity, loudness, boldness, and all. We’re a beautiful, imperfect mess, and that’s precisely what God wants us to be.

So, the next time someone tries to “fix” you, or you catch yourself comparing your imperfect self to the Proverbs 31 woman, remember: God made you exactly as you are for a reason. There’s nothing wrong with aspiring to be like her—her wisdom, strength, and devotion are admirable qualities! But if trying to fit into that mold doesn’t feel like you, that’s okay. God isn’t asking you to be someone He didn’t create you to be. Whether you’re leading an army, organizing your life with spreadsheets (I see you), or just trying to make it through the day in jeans and a T-shirt—God can use it all. And hey, maybe one day we’ll all have our “rise up and call her blessed” moment—preferably after a little more coffee and after 9 a.m.

Being confident in who God created you to be allows you to live with audacious faith because it frees you from the pressure to conform and empowers you to embrace the unique way God has designed you. When you step into your true, unfiltered self, you can take bold steps of faith that reflect your individuality, trusting that God can use all of you—quirks, strengths, and all—to impact the world.

Author: Tracie Tevault

 Tracie Tevault is a recent addition to the STXWM blog team, and she’s excited to share her journey and connect with others through her writing. Married for 15 years to her best friend, Tracie is raising one awesome son and three spoiled cats who definitely rule the house. With a heart for ministry, Tracie has served in many areas, but her true passion lies in reaching those who might not fit the traditional church mold. She’s all about showing people they are loved, valued, and created with a purpose. Quirky, loud, and always ready for a good laugh, Tracie brings a fun-loving energy to everything she does. When she’s not writing or serving, you’ll find her hanging out with her family, discovering her newest crafting hyper fixation, and finding inspiration from God in the everyday moments.