STXWM Blog

by MaKenzie V.

Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and some women look forward to it with excitement, some with longing, and others with dread. 

Growing up, Mother’s Day was only ever a celebration in our home untouched by grief or sorrow. When I became a wife and a hopeful mother, I saw the day differently. Some years it was a milestone. “I hope I’m pregnant before Mother’s Day this year!” Some years it snuck up and unassuming relatives or friends would ask, “Why aren’t you a mom yet?”

Mother’s Day could be a time of joy and thankfulness that is also tinted with the sorrow of who is missing from our lives. Perhaps our mother or mother figure has passed away and the day brings tears of sadness mixed with joy associated with what we once had. Or maybe Mother’s Day is a reminder of what we don’t have or who we don’t hold in our arms.

Before I buried my firstborn, I had never heard of “Bereaved Mother’s Day.” It is celebrated (or acknowledged is perhaps a better word) the week before Mother’s Day each May. It is a day that is historically young, only being founded in 2010 after a mother delivered her stillborn son and longed to hold space for other mothers who have experienced loss to feel vulnerable and safe. 

This sacred day is for those whose mothers have passed, whose child(ren) have gone before them, or for women who are walking through infertility.

I have always loved to stand out. I have a loud voice, a big personality, and a laugh that can be heard all throughout a building— I also wish I didn’t qualify for this day. I wish I didn’t feel like an imposter on Mother’s Day because my firstborn isn’t here and it took me so long to bring a healthy, living, breathing child earth-side. I wish bereaved anything didn’t have to exist. But it does. We exist: the sorrowful, the grieving, the brokenhearted. And in so many ways we feel set apart and alone, apart from all the “other mothers.” 

As we are set apart, so is our Creator Himself, for He knows the pain of losing a child- His Son, His only begotten Son, our Savior Jesus Christ. It’s no wonder why throughout scripture we can see God’s tenderness for those who walk hand in hand with Sorrow and Grief. 

“The Lord draws near to the brokenhearted. He saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Romans 12:15

The Old and New Testament alike show God’s heart for His hurting children. Let’s be like our Father. Let’s pick up the mantle to not only draw near to the brokenhearted, but to actively weep and mourn with them, to sit at gravesides and don sackcloth and ashes, to show our sisters who are downtrodden that we as the body of Christ will not allow them to grieve alone. 

God doesn’t always offer answers to our situations, but His presence is never lacking. In joy, grief, celebration, or any circumstance, God’s Word says He is with us, our refuge and strength, our hope and defender. 

I love what former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli said about sorrow: “Sweet is the voice of a sister in a season of sorrow.” If you’re wondering what words to offer a bereaved mother, know that no platitude could ever replace our mere presence or gentle acknowledgment of their pain. “I see you and I stand by you,” is more than enough, said in either words or actions.

King Jesus, at times our emotions pull us down more than we can bear. We can feel alone in a sea of people and abandoned in our own congregations when our grief is seemingly ignored or our loss forgotten. But You are the One who always sees us, always hears us, and will never lie or forsake us. To You we run with open arms and vulnerable hearts. We grasp Your hand as Mother’s Day approaches and we trust that whatever emotion tries to distract us, You will weather each storm with us. To You be all honor and glory. Amen.

MaKenzie V. is a global worker who has faithfully been serving the unreached in the Arab World while growing her family. Almost every moment of the day is spent chasing Jesus and her toddlers- usually with a cup of hot tea or coffee in hand. She enjoys learning languages, deep belly laughs, and connecting with others where God has them.